I found, in the process of what I considered to be the true end of a relationship that I thought had seen its day, that physical boundaries can prove to be difficult and daunting. To be so bonded with someone but to feel so disconnected can really stress a person out. In trying to let a distance wedge between us, it seemed a stronger bond kept growing. We decided to be friends and tested it...seemed to be going well; we began respecting each other and our boundaries as far as space. (Emphasis is put on "began" to imply that this is something we never really built in our foundation.) This new feeling, however, was emerging from this mutual respect and any tense feelings seemed to just dissolve as if into a light mist; one that is still very much there but it's presence is just barely noticeable.
It was like discovering something new. To stem from a couple posts ago, perhaps it is possible that not only what I desire for myself to be found exists but that it can exist in this person where it seemed it was impossible. Once a person truly lets go of all her expectations and stops forcing her eyes to see something that isn't there or maybe it is but it's not the only thing, you can give that thing a chance to grow and blossom into something you never anticipated.
Maybe that's how love is supposed to be: completely unexpected, unconditonal (so as not to be restricted because then it cannot grow), and brand new everytime because it's not limited to one view/one side/simple qualities. These feelings can get overwhelming sometimes, but they can be so wonderful as well. Though it is very important not to lose sight of yourself and what this all means in the moment, it is also important to just enjoy it for what it is.
Love is a most complex thing, but it can also be the root of the simplest ecstasy.
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